Not too long ago I deleted my Facebook account. I had been toying with the idea for awhile, but one day just did it. It wasn't easy to make that decision but I haven't looked back since. It was one of the best things I've done for myself. This subject has everything to do with simplifying, just not in a physical way.
Whenever I have to tell someone I'm not on Facebook, they wonder what happened. Everyone is on facebook and it's the norm today for me to be too. Even companies are so on board that you can't get deals if you don't "like" them on Facebook.
This topic is a completely personal one for me. I'm not against Facebook but I'll tell you why I decided against it for myself.
1. I felt like it created the illusion of friendship. This sounds really dramatic but I found myself overwhelmed with supposedly keeping in touch with so many people. I liked Facebook and looked at it every day, even had it on my phone. For a couple of weeks I decided to gauge how it made me feel when I went on there. The friendship factor left me feeling unsatisfied and discouraged.
2. It's a time waster. Now I prefer to waste my time on Twitter. I love that I can pick the most inspiring people to read their updates. I can pick and choose as I want, and no hurt feelings or de-friending problems.
3. There is an issue of comparing myself with other people, or them comparing themselves with me. I loathe jealousy. It's there but nobody will admit it. Facebook status updates can be a facade for "look at me, I have a perfect life!" It doesn't have to be, and certainly I'm not saying my friends were like that. I still like my friends, even though I'm not on Facebook!
4. Along the same lines, I felt like people could spy on my pictures and I could spy on theirs, which completely eliminates the need for real face to face, or phone call updates. You already know everything they did on their vacation and what they had for lunch. Don't get me wrong, I liked the voyeuristic part of Facebook and I probably don't know what I'm missing since I've been off.
5. I now don't have to not accept friend requests of people that aren't really in my life anymore. No more guilt over feeling like I'm rejecting someone. I would hate to reject someone, but if I really don't know them, or happened to know them a long time ago, I still don't want another person spying on me.
6. Oy, the drama that I don't really want to hear about, am not a part of and generally don't care about. Goodbye drama.
7. I feel calmer and more free to live my own life. It's like bringing my worldview back to my husband, my family and friends here, the ones that aren't 6 degrees of separation.
I know this is a charged subject because Facebook has completely infiltrated into the way we communicate. I still have to option to reactivate my account one day. There hasn't been one single moment that I've regretted it though. You know what else? I can count the people on one hand who even noticed I am not on there. Ha! Case and point, there you go.
Ok, shoot, just don't shoot me. What are your thoughts on Facebook? I know that many of you will read this and tell me how great it is for you and how you use it for good, not evil. I hope you understand that these are just my thoughts for this phase of my life. It's not a personal insult to anyone who loves it.
12 comments:
I've never been on Facebook so perhaps don't know what I'm missing out on, but I actually DON'T feel like I'm not at the party. I can see it must be hard to quit once you're signed up though.
Fiona
http://howtobechic.blogspot.com
Fiona-How did you manage not to succumb to the pressure? I think you are right because it's a whole world in itself. Backing out of it was like putting a mute button on a whole lot of noise.
What is your next series going to be?
-xo
Jennifer
I was on Facebook for about two weeks and realized it wasn't for me. I am not on Twitter and although I do e-mail I still prefer to pick up the phone. I guess I'm just an old fashioned girl in a new fashioned world. :-)
I only had a Facebook account for a few weeks, and just never felt like I wanted to spend as much time obsessing over it as it seemed to require. I've never missed it; but I wonder if my blog suffers from not having all of the Facebook bells and whistles.
Vivienne
I was on facebook for a few weeks and deleted my account. It just was not me. I don't miss it.
I deleted my account last year for all of the same reasons. And like you, all these "friends" I thought I was connecting with, have not kept in touch. I tried with emails/phone calls for a time but because this form of relationship takes time and effort, I found no one was interested. I still have some emails hangin' out there that were never responded too. But these same people would always have a comment on my status or my little quips. It's truly a strange phenom. xxBliss
I just recently deleted my Facebook account as well - I hardly used it. I was tired of people being nasty through cryptic messages (I suppose that falls into the drama category), or how it seemed to create such self-importance among people. It wasn't a friendship site for me, it was this superficial thing I avoided. So I deleted it.
I've never done Twitter or really looked at it (other than to figure out what it was). I cleaned up my blog reader, and I really couldn't be happier.
Gracie's Mom-Thanks for your comment! You are an old-fashioned girl! I don't talk on the phone that much. It seems like people would rather text. Good for you for deleting facebook before you got addicted.
Vivienne-I'm sure your blog isn't suffering at all! You can always add it in the future though. It looks like I'm not alone at all with the facebook issue!
Stephanie-Wow, we really are an anti-facebook tribe here. :)
Bliss-Thanks for sharing your story. It kind of hurts your feelings doesn't it. It's too bad that genuine friendships seem to be becoming extinct, or maybe that's jut my perspective.
Elizabeth-Hi!!! I didn't know you deleted your facebook! Twitter can be fun but the few people I actually know on there don't write anything. It's really a place that I follow other bloggers and it's cool for the links they put on there. Blog readers can get really cluttered too. I need to look at that area too.
Thanks everyone for the comments. Not one lone dissenter among the crowd!
Amen to that! I completely agree with every word, which is why I have also jumped ship on Facebook. Life has been so much better on this side of things :) Thanks for your thoughts!
www.casbaldwin.blogspot.com
i noticed you were gone from fb! after reading your post i'm tempted to delete my fb. all the reasons why i shouldn't are spiraling around in my head... ah the pressure!
Sara-No pressure! I have had a nice break from facebook but may establish one with Gustavo and I together. Who knows?
How interesting that I should stumle across this blog today. I have been working on my 'self-care' in recent weeks and have come to realise that Facebook doesn't assist me in caring for myself. Thing is, I'm a FB addict so to not look on FB every hour would be horrible for me, let alone not posting an update every day.
Your words are encouraging though, and give me food for thought to perhaps quit FB even for a few days at first.
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