This Moment Like No Other

For some reason today I was thinking about this post that was never posted. I wrote it before my wedding and my then-fiance, now husband, thought it was too transparent for me to share so I saved it. Even though it is no longer relevant because it is taken out of the time context, I still feel it is relevant to me now and can be helpful to brides and anyone going through a transition in their lives. The transitions in life never stop, do they? I have many thoughts brewing in my head and I am soon going to write what I really think about weddings, now that I can say it with my own experience.


Written a couple weeks before my wedding:


"As I am preparing to leave for my wedding next weekend, I am also taking time to pack boxes as I get them. Moving is an emotional trigger for me because it feels like a tearing down of what I have put together. It signifies changes in my life.

It was February of last year when I decided to move from South Carolina to Texas to be in the same city with my fiancee. We had been long distance for one year and it was time to be together. Packing up my condo that I had lived in for 5 years and cleaning it for someone to rent was an unknown feeling to me. My condo was my first home purchase and my baby. To top it off I was moving to a state that I had never even visited. Talk about a leap of faith!

Now that I will be moving again at the end of September, hopefully to our first new home together, I am looking back, looking forward and looking inward. It's exciting and scary to let go of the old and embrace the new. Over the past months since my engagement I have had to "mourn" what I was giving up, my single self, to embrace what I am becoming, a wife. Nevermind the hoopla of a wedding, marriage is a rite of passage. I am really excited to embrace this new life but I admit it took me some time to get used to the idea. I have had to consider how I will be defined by this new role. As a child of divorced parents, I wasn't the biggest fan of marriage. Oh, I always wanted to get married, but didn't want to get divorced. My family still can't believe I am getting married because I was always so choosy.

It is now 17 days until my wedding. :) The best advice I have received about the wedding is to enjoy it. Sound simple, but I figured I needed some practice so I am taking that advice to heart even now as I look around me, feel what I feel, and make mental notes of what all my senses are saying to me. As I packed today I looked around me and remembered what this period of time has been like. I know how I have changed and what has come into my life. I am not the same girl that moved in here. I am better because I have learned.

In all our lives we are going through transitions of gaining and letting go. Try, with me, to focus in on the present and be grateful. Let your heart be full of the people who have been in your life, the successes you have achieved, and the disappointments you've worked through as well. Take a look around where you are and remember that this time in your life will never pass by you again."


Additional Information:

For other future brides who need encouragement through the transition, see www.consciousweddings.com. There are many supportive girls who know just what you are feeling.

For help determining future goals, read Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck

And of course, reading the Bible never fails to inspire. Try Proverbs for of the moment and always in style wisdom

Baby Perfume

Did you know that babies in other countries wear perfume? If this is common practice in the US, I had never heard of it except seeing that Bulgari and some other high end brands have a supposedly baby perfume. It was a few years ago that I learned from someone that in Spain mothers use this lavender scented perfume to splash on their children, even boys. Well as much as I love perfume a full on investigation was in order. Two years ago we did a whirlwind European vacation for three weeks and it was finally my opportunity to find this baby potion, among many other things on my list. While I was there I meticulously hunted down many European toiletries, one of which was Nenuco from Spain. In my husband's backpack I loaded four large bottles of this baby fragrance, two for gifts. The smell is so clean and fresh that I use it on myself but it is definitely supposed to be for babies. One smells of lavender and the other has a lemon scent. I use mine after a bath and my husband always tells me I smell so sweet.

When we went to Puerto Rico this past Thanksgiving I noticed my sister in law using another type on her baby. It's called Para mi bebe and it smelled of violets. Already I have a hard time resisting perfume, but with this precious little bottle and the very idea of this sweet baby smelling even better, I knew I had to find some. I managed to look in every pharmacy or shop that we were near, quickly and sneakily mind you, and finally I was successful. My husband saw me coming with six bottles of this stuff because we have lots of baby showers coming up. I don't know if these American mothers will fully grasp putting baby perfume on their little bundles, but I couldn't resist including this into my baby gift to them.

Wedding Guestbook with Photos

DIY Guestbooks are one of the searches most often coming to my blog. One of the details of our wedding that we now treasure is our DIY guestbook. Mine is the Polaroid type that is gaining popularity now. They are selling them also at a high price on the internet, but I decided to just do my own.

Here is a picture of the cover. I bought this wirebound book at Michaels, pasted an aqua sheet of paper on the cover, then put the scrapbooking stickers to decorate. I was tickled pink with the outcome.



We had two types of guestbooks, the traditional version and the photo version. I spent a lot of time deliberating over traditional type guestbook to buy. I'm calling the traditional guestbook the type that says "Guests" on the outside and a bunch of lines on the inside. They range from $9.99 at Michaels to $200.00 for a beautiful silk bound book. In the end, I realized that the traditional guestbook wasn't going to mean much to me so I opted for the Michael's version for $9.99. After all, it only has your guests names and addresses in it. It is not worth it to spend a lot of money on this type of sign-in guestbook because once you open the book to sign you lose the appeal of the outside. Most of the pages on the inside look the same. And honestly, are you going to be looking at it often, or ever? Like all things related to a wedding, this is another "essential" where they try to price gouge you. Usually there is a pen that accompanies it, which is usually a crappy ballpoint that doesn't write well. In my opinion, the pen is also not worth it.

To pull this off, you need a friend who is willing to take charge of this project at the wedding. Thank you Renee!! Of course you need a Polaroid (I borrowed one) and film, glue to paste the pictures in the book. I also bought a quality set of Staedtler felt tip markers so they could write a message in different colors. It would also behoove you to get the DJ involved so everyone visits the Guestbook Area.



Encourage your friends to be creative and write something fun. If you can see from one of these pictures, a couple of my friends blacked their teeth out so I would be sure to miss the gang from South Carolina. Hardy har har. Another wrote some sage advice to "remember to always laugh and dance".

So much of wedding is about "supposed to" and buying things out of some Pavlovian response. Think about what really matters to you. What do you want to be left with after the wedding? It was hard for me and I'm sure it's hard for anyone planning a wedding. Throw in a finite budget and it becomes even more important to discern what is the best option for your wedding day.

By the way, I think this a great memory book for anyone throwing a party, baby or bridal shower. You can even plan to do this for someone and present it to them as a gift. It is so fun to read what people write and see their smiling faces.

No Shame in Shoes

While I was out Christmas shopping a couple of weeks ago I spotted a woman (woman sounds so old-I wanted to write girl) wearing the cutest pair of shoes. First of all, know that this is Houston and we have summer-like weather in the winter so yes these are sandalesque type of shoes in a summereque color. Styles are a bit seasonless here, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her shoes, mesmerized as I was. I had to pull my focus back to the task at hand, ahem...driving and stop looking.

I decided it was now or never and I had to know whose shoes they were, well besides her shoes. Now you may not realize, but rolling down my window is always a risk since the time I rolled it down and it didn't go back up. I was kind of rolling so I couldn't just stop and open the door to yell at her. I made a snap decision and down the window shimmied slowly. "Hey! I LOVE those shoes!!!" She looked over and smiled at me with a genuine look that she was pleased to be noticed. After that I figured all appropriateness was out the window, so to speak, so I kept going. "What brand are they?" She takes off her shoe in the parking lot to see who made them. "Franco Sarto." Uh-huh. Well I needed to know where she bought them too. At this point, there were no horns blaring so I'm not sure if someone was behind me or not, but the final question was "Where did you get them?" Ah, Nordstrom, the beautiful shoe department at Nordstrom. Knowledge attained.

The window did go back up, thankfully and I believe I made two people's day, mine and hers. If I may note, I think she strutted away so confident that her shoes inspired such frenzy from me on a sunny, bustling pre-Christmas afternoon. When I returned home I promptly looked up Nordstrom, but they were not there. Never to be deterred from the search for a shoe with the impossible combination of style and comfort, I visited Zappos and was not disappointed. How lucky am I that they have my size and the same fire red-orange color she wore. Is it just me, or does Zappos always say "only three left in your size!" to make you feel even more grateful and extremely reluctant to walk away.


P.S. When I went to see if they were still on Zappos for you to see, it still said "only three left" in my size. Hmmmpphh.

Clean and Green Laundry Soap

Ever since I had a roommate who introduced me to the virtues of recycling, I have been an aspiring Granola. For those of you who didn't go to college in the mountains of North Carolina that means Tree Hugger, Earth Mama or just plain wannabe Environmentalist. Although I'm not enough of an overachiever to go all the way Granola, I still recycle, have a pair of Birkenstocks and I make my own laundry soap. Since this is saving me a bundle of money and keeping the water free from nasties, I want to share this easy recipe with you.



1 cup washing soda--NOT baking soda and cannot be substituted for baking soda
1 cup borax
2 cups ground soap--I recommend Dr. Bronner's Castille Soap

and you can put 1/4 cup Oxi Clean in there too.

I just use my cheese grinder to grind the soap. You mix it all together in a big bowl and use 2 Tablespoons for a load of laundry. It doesn't seem like much because it isn't full of all the fillers that store brands have. Some people add essential oil for fragrance but we prefer no fragrance to help with any allergies.

Generally I use cold water to wash my clothes because I like to save the hot water expense for my scalding hot baths. For fabric softener, get a Downy ball and fill up to the line with White Vinegar. I promise your clothes will not smell like vinegar. I store mine in this canister which is much more chic than a box of Tide. I'm about to start experiments on homemade dishwasher detergent so if you've found one that works, let me know.

My original recipe came from www.modcottage.com.

Is your home splitting its seams?

As I drive through our suburban neighborhood sometimes I get to peek into my neighbors home via the garage. Sometimes they are neatly organized and painted a pretty color or turned into a game room, but what I notice mostly is that there aren't a lot of cars parked there. Tidiness aside, because this isn't the norm, most garages are packed to the gills with boxes and stuff.

There is always a good reason/excuse for accumulating all these things and then taking the cars room away to store it. Based on the number of storage facilities I see popping up everywhere, I'm thinking that these people have even run out of garage space. I will never understand why a person chooses to pay a pretty large sum of cash to store, insure, and protect things that they don't need or use.

It's not only garages though. It's closets and drawers too. We all know it. We are a people who need our things. We want, we shop, we buy, then we store. Marketing is genius for making us want what we didn't know we wanted. Marketing makes us buy the last minute items at the store. Marketing creates a need that wasn't a need before. Marketing makes me feel like my house isn't decorated enough if I don't have Santa Claus soap and guest towels.

Oh sure, don't knock the Christmas spirit! I love it when someone goes all out decorating for every season. My first thought though is where do they store that stuff for 11 months out of the year. And, how much did it cost to buy those things? I really hope they aren't in debt if they are buying a couple of $60 Christmas trees, one for the front room too.

There are two things I feel passionate about right now during the Christmas season. One is about all the clutter we accumulate. The other is about the money we are spending. This all stems from a root belief that one holds, and maybe it is because of family rituals and maybe it comes from savvy marketing.

We can't keep buying everything and storing it. Our homes are busting at the seams. As a nation we live in bigger homes, but still don't have room for all the stuff. We need a FLOW in our lives. Things come in, things go out. I always have a to go bag. When it is full, it goes in my car and to charity. If you start small, you won't be overwhelmed by starting to create a flow again in your home. When you touch something that you think needs to go, put it in the bag immediately. Let it go to bless someone else.

We also can't keep buying all these things and paying for it. Most people have debt on credit cards or car loans. We have allowed debt to become an acceptable part of the American way. The truth is that it robs us of peace. It makes us work more so we have less time to enjoy the things we already have. Not long ago I was in Target and had a buggy with a few things in it. I think I was about to spend about $50 total on a wreath that was marked down to $12, a picture frame for a wedding photo, and a couple things that escape me now. As I walked toward the cash register I said "I don't need this stuff right now." and I left. Sometimes I do that online too. I fill up the cart and then exit the website. It's funny how just the act of shopping for it is therapeutic enough. Question yourself, especially now at Christmas. Imagine how much that item will sell for at the yard sale when you don't want it anymore. Is paying $25 now worth the 75 cents you'll get for it later?

Just by having less you will appreciate more and isn't that what the season is really about?


The photo is a dog we encountered in San Francisco. He is giving you the "hairy eyeball" saying "No excuses, clean out those garages and closets!"

Potions from the Pantry

I have been having the most trouble trying to find adequate and affordable skin care. I really love Ren because it is "clean" and all things good, but it is a tad pricey. While I was in Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving, a Clinique counter was giving away their three step system samples to try. I tried them and they are quite stripping. The toner smells like straight rubbing alcohol although I have to admit that it seemed to clear up my skin.

So now that I am back to the States I have been trying to go back to the basics. It just doesn't seem logical that my skin needs to be stripped of all oils and then replenished with serums and potions. In the past I have used plain olive or walnut oil to clean my skin and it worked well. I've also made my own toner from a recipe in the Dr. Hauschka beauty book. But it never fails that I get seduced into thinking that something so simple can't possibly be good enough.

The truth is that I have had occasional cystic acne for years now. It is only during times of extreme stress. Right after I got engaged I got two cystic nightmares that left me two holes that will forever be my engagement scars. It was a very stressful time. Will you marry me? Call your family. Let's stop at Barnes and Noble so you can start planning a wedding. That was all in a matter of hours. Anyway, I digress, but it's just to show I have had some extreme skin problems. The good news is that since the wedding there has been no cystic trouble at all.

This morning I tried a yogurt mask and it does seem to exfoliate quite nicely. I added a little lemon juice. I use plain, full fat yogurt, which is a good all around staple for cooking as well. You can also add some honey which has antibacterial properties. Some other skin care homemade remedies I have tried are body scrubs. You can easily make your own with salt or sugar. Just add oil.

I've been making my own eye makeup remover for awhile now and as I tell my husband, "Do you know how much money I've saved you?" Use an old eye makeup remover bottle and put one fourth baby shampoo and fill to the top with distilled water. I know this probably isnt' the Best because it still has the SLS however it's not much different from the $16 bottle so why not use it practically free?

In spite of many creative ways to make your own potions, I always find myself seduced into a marketing campaign. I start believing that some company has the right answer for my skin. My curiousity gets the best of me and my wallet. The truth is that it is fun to buy things and feel a part of the collective users of something. It's almost like we collect items from a cosmetics or skincare line like my mom used to collect dolls off of QVC. And honestly, I think the skincare costs more.

But this time I'm going to find the system that works for me. I'm open to purchasing skincare or to making it myself, but I'm tired of buying products that are only as good as their marketing campaigns or free gift with purchase. Anyone got any faves to share?