Possessions

"Possessions are not given that we may rely on them and glory in them...but that we may use and enjoy them and share them with others....Our possessions should be in our hands, not in our hearts."  Anonymous

This quote sums up how I aspire to view possessions in my life.  As much as anyone I enjoy having beautiful things to wear and in my home, it is important to sometimes give our perspective a check-up.  There are several important pieces of advice that this quote gives. When I read it, powerful feelings just keep rolling over me.  I want to pick it apart a bit and tell you what it means to me.

The first thought that it gives me is the ultimate reason for owning things and that is usefulness.  There was a time when owning so many things as the modern American family does now would have been reserved for the rich.  We have lost the meaning of true usefulness in each item we purchase.  It is a symptom of the times and we often don't even realize it.  Of course when there is a new gadget a minute, we find ourselves finding use for many things that we don't actually ever use.  Advertisements create the need for us to find their item useful.  I'm talking to you garlic peeler and margarita machine.

Pride in our possessions can be viewed two ways.  It is not wrong to take care of our things and be happy that we have them.  When the good pride turns sour is when you value yourself more because you have these things.  If you have a certain brand and feel yourself more powerful or better because of it, you are heading into the pride/over-inflated ego zone.  Humility is the opposite of pride.  Realizing that what you own is a blessing inspires humility.  Also recognizing that these things can also slip through your hands may give you a more realistic perspective. After all we can't keep things forever, can we? 

When I was in college, I had a little dog named Dixie.  Someone fed her a bunch of trout bones and she puked all over my white eyelet bedspread that my Grandmother bought me.  This bedspread was so beautiful and very expensive and I was furious.  It was this event in my life that I realized I couldn't put things before people, or dogs in this example.  When we value the thing more than the person, there is a serious issue with guarding these things too tightly.   Even now, I won't buy something that I would be so upset if it got messed up by me or someone else.  My bedspread came clean but I learned a lot that day about possessions.

  

This whole idea brings up the topic of idolizing things.  I have done it many times when I would become obsessed with a brand or even a line of makeup.  I think it is in our nature and a huge temptation to want to conquer, as silly as it sounds.  Maybe it makes us feel included or able to complete something.  If I could only have this certain item, my life would be so much better is the start of idolization.  It's not that there is anything wrong with the having of these things, but a matter of perspective.  When you realize that a LV purse is still just a purse, then you are making progress.  Yes, it has better quality than Target.  No, it doesn't make your life more complete.  When I was in high school I wanted a pair of Guess jeans like nothing else.  I babysat and saved up my $42 (!!!) and got them.  (My stepdad Randy asked me if I got kissed....because I sure did get screwed!  He was always spouting street wisdom like that.)  As a teenager I would venture to say it did make my life a little better, but more because I worked hard for them and enjoyed them immensely.  They later became cut-offs which went brilliantly with my huge teased bangs.

Often I think about this quote when I encounter people who hold on to everything so dearly. What is holding them back from letting go?  It is this psychology that intrigues me so much about cleaning out closets or homes.  We take our possessions and internalize them to become a part of us.  When we have to let them go a part of us feels like it is taken.  Recently my hard drive failed and I thought that I didn't have backup.  Even though I would have lost pictures and music, it felt like a weight lifted from me. Even when we initially resist the purging of things from our life, we have to trust that letting go will bring us freedom and a lightness.  It could mean a starting over or a clean slate which everyone needs once in awhile.

Superior 1930's Wife

Here is a really cute quiz that I found over at Chic Mummy's blog. It is a quiz that will tell you how you would rate as a housewife by 1930's standards. It is outdated of course, but so charming! It made me see some things that I can add to make the home more pleasant for my husband and myself. I answered very honestly and am surprised I got "superior" actually. Can you say need to stop complaining?  

Check out Chic Mummy's blog too.  She has created a beautiful space with a lot of inspiring things to say about chic living as a stay at home mom as well as the transition from the corporate workplace to being at home.

64 As a 1930s wife, I am Superior Take the test!

Autumn Inspiration at J Crew

Even in the sweltering heat of Houston I am starting to think about autumn weather and autumn clothing.  Every year I eagerly anticipate the long awaited fresh start that this season brings. I'm not in school anymore, but I still get a thrill when I see the crisp backpacks and back to school supplies being sold.  I am one of those who loved school and to this day I have a very strong obsession with paper and pens.

Dreaming was always an essential part of back to school planning.   I pored over fashion magazines and in my mind I knew what I would do if I had the money.  It's still fun to dream and the other day I was looking at J Crew's new collection and I am definitely impressed.   The pages are chock full of wacky color combinations that just work. Color is very important to me because it makes me happy, but sometimes I need the push of what I see in a magazine or website to make me take that chance.  

This collection has something for everyone.  I see a mix and match of styles, like casual with dressy, like this below.  I wouldn't normally wear an argyle cardigan with a skirt like this, but it does give an idea how to change up combinations to make your own wardrobe fresh.

This one is a gold tank top with a hoodie.  If you go to the website and look at other views, you will see that she is wearing gold strappy heels and her jeans rolled up.  I really love this one, except that the tank top is $400! 

Living in a warm climate our autumn season is cut short by the heat, however we still dress for the season since once inside it can be quite chilly and air conditioned.  Look at the layouts to see ways to incorporate your summer into autumn wardrobe with layers.  Tank tops are really year round when you can layer them like this.

It looks like long necklaces are certainly "in" this season.

If you are planning a wedding, don't forget that J Crew has beautiful bridesmaid's dresses.  I would have loved to go with J Crew with my wedding, but cost was an issue so I went with Ann Taylor.  These dresses don't look like typical bridesmaid's dresses and they offer many interesting colors to suit the offbeat bride's style.  Here is another color combination you can steal, green with turquoise.  Love it!

Also, to get a sneek peek at the upcoming fashion colors go to Pantone and check out what the designers are using for inspiration.  Chances are if you don't like these colors, you won't be able to find anything but these colors because that is the way it works in fashion.  I think there are some beautiful colors coming around though.

What are you planning for your fall wardrobe?  Nordstrom is having their anniversary sale right now which is where they put the fall clothes on sale in advance.  It's a great time to get a first pick of a winter coat or new boots.  They always have some great beauty buys too in the cosmetics department.  Nordstrom in my favorite store for all around great customer service and selection.  Here is one of their beautiful coats on sale.  If you wear a lot of black, this can help break the monotony without a huge color commitment.  It looks so elegant too.

I could keep posting pictures all day long, but I'll let you go look for yourself.  I just want to say don't feel like you have to shop at these stores to get these looks.  A fun thing to do is open the catalog and start matching up pieces you already own to create these looks.  I bet you have so much already and you won't have to spend any money looking up to the minute fashionable.

Pictures from www.jcrew.com and www.nordstrom.com

Spreading the Love: Premio Brillante Award

Maybe you have visited me and linked over to some of the links to the right.  One of those blogs is all about being stylish as a stay at home mom.  If you are or aren't in this phase of your life, still go visit her blog because she gives a lot of ideas that you can bounce into your own life. I love her recent article about having a minimalist wardrobe.  This is the kind of subject that gets my heart racing.  You can read it here.

I also want to thank her for endowing me with a Premio Brillante Weblog Award.  I'd like to thank my husband, my dog Keegan, my family and of course Leah who chose me to receive this honor.  I was imagining myself in a long sparkly dress holding up the award in the air.  Well, there's no physical award, but there's this!

Now, part of the beauty of receiving an award is that I get to choose my favorite blogs to bestow it upon.  And the winners are (drum roll please) ....

La Belette Rouge

I was going to give this dearly departed blog this award just because it was such a great blog. When I decided to give it a click just to see the sad little page not come up, I saw that it had been resurrected.  It's great to have LBR back in cyberspace.  

She writes about her love for France and also tells the stories of her life with humor and transparency.  You will love to follow her along because no endeavor is too great for her.  This girl has guts!

My Wardrobe Today

The writer of this blog I like to think of as a pioneer in blogging.  She is so gracious and supportive of other bloggers and her genuine, sweet spirit is transmitted through her writing. You just can't help but feel like you know her.  She bravely takes pictures of her outfits almost daily.  I think she inspired many to do the same in blogging and I know she has inspired many cool outfits from her photos.  She has a great personal style and is pregnant if you need some maternity looks to try.

A Love Story In France

Ok that isn't the name of their blog, but that is what I call it on my blog.  This couple has the sweetest story about how they met while doing mission work in Africa.  Now they live in France and are busy traveling, cooking, working and loving life.  The joie de vivre comes across the ocean and into my heart when I read about them.  To me, their life is what happens when you love God and trust him to live to your fullest potential, with no fear.

Domestic Felicity

This is a blog is written by a young Jewish woman who believes strongly in being a Godly women, wife and future mother.  She devoted herself to learning how to be a wife before she even met her husband.  Now she is married and expecting, and writing about her feelings on those subjects.  I found her intriguing because when I first got married I was looking for the virtue of being a wife and homemaker.  There is not a lot to be found on the subject anywhere you look which is why I appreciate her candor and her opinions that go against the grain of our culture.  

The Cottage Nest

I adore cottage decorating.  This blog has a focus on decorating in this style, but I think cottage decorating is also a lifestyle.  It's a way of collecting treasures and memories to fill your space and your life.  She posted a recipe for yeast rolls and they turned out great.  She put a picture of her dining room color and I intend to copy it one day.  I think about that color often.  Isn't it amazing how the world of blogging opens up our mind to possibilities?

Tartelette

Tartelette is probably much too busy right now to accept another award, but it is one of my fave blogs.  I love her.  She is French, she is generous and talented.  Her writing holds such warmth and passion that it isn't surprising that she just got her very own publishing contract.  I love it when a book is just a continuing story from childhood.  It was just meant to happen as a way to let the rest of us in to her magical world of her Grandmother's teachings and love for life as much as the sweet treats she creates.

Inspired Room

All you have to do is visit this blog and you will see why I pick this one.  This is my first award like this and it has occurred to me that bigger blogs will not participate in this type of thing, but I was told to choose my seven favorite and this is one of them.  The decorating pictures on this blog will make your mouth water they are soooo delicious!  The writer has such a sweet spirit and is just trying to do what she loves like all of us.  I love that she is relatable and so talented too.

So these are my favorite blogs.  For those who are receiving this award, I just want you all to know that you make a difference to me in my daily life.  You will probably never know just how I may relate to something you write, or how something you recommend makes my day better. All of you are an inspiration in different ways, and I only hope that I can do the same with my blog.

From your Fan, The Closet Therapist

2008 Premio Award Rules

1.  When received, you may post the Premio to your blog.

2.  Link to the blogger you received it from.

3.  Give it to 7 blogs.

4.  Link to those 7 blogs.

5.  Leave those 7 bloggers a comment about receiving the Brillante Premio

Coupons 101: Who Turns Down Free Stuff?

I'll bet we're not the only family tightening our belts lately.  Since I haven't taken any new projects with my company, I have a lot of time to contemplate how we can improve our personal finances by spending less.  This goal is greatly enhanced by the fact that most days I do not have a car to go shopping out of boredom and thus spend all our fruitful savings.

Never in a million years did I think I would write a post about coupons.  Unless it was a coupon for Starbucks, clothing, shoes or my blessed Central Market grocery store, I would ignore them or throw them away.  I thought that I wouldn't use any of those products anyway.  And, it's true that I normally wouldn't have, but with my newfound pursuit turning into a hobby, I have reconsidered the way I shop for groceries and toiletries.  

I am truly amazed that with coupons and a lot of super savvy combinations of sales with coupons, you can get many items for free or nearly free.  It does take a lot of time to find coupons, cut them, organize them and compare them to the weekly sales.   Sometimes I still think it isn't worth the trouble, but since I do have the time I'm going to continue on and see how it works out. 

It must be said, that using coupons can become like a game because it's such a challenge.  The downside of this is losing complete perspective and buying things that you really won't ever use.  If you think this will be a temptation for you, then plan ahead to donate what you get for free or nearly free to a food bank, women's shelter or a school.  It is hard to pass up items that will be free after all.  

The basic concept is this:  

1-Find coupon for what you regularly buy or would like to try.

2-Try to find item on sale in your grocery store.  If it is convenient, go to several stores to take advantage of their "loss leaders".

INSIDER TIP:  Grocery stores put items on sale a month after coupons come out.  You can save your coupon until that time and save even more.

3-Find a grocery that doubles or triples coupons all the time.  I haven't done this yet, but I think Kroger does it.  They will double or triple your coupon up to $1.00.

4-Double up a store coupon and manufacturer coupon.  Some stores have their own coupons like Target.  For each item, you can have two coupons.  

INSIDER TIP:  Don't let the cashier tell you that you can't do that, because you can!!!  This is a definite Beware of Embarrassment Warning!!   The cashiers and managers sometimes aren't really nice, but that's ok with me.

If  you have a CVS where you are, they have a program called Extra Care Bucks.  You have to have a a free Extra Care card to take advantage of this.  They have two sales flyers, one is weekly and one is monthly.  The monthly will tell you most of the ECB that you can earn.  For example, last month I bought, among other things, a Listerine mouthwash for $3.49 and they give you $3.49 ECB.  So you purchase it, and when you get your receipt there is a coupon for $3.49 for you to use immediately to buy something else.  I reason that if I am going to buy something there anyway, why not take advantage of these and get the other item for free.  This process took me a while to figure out.  The best site for a CVS Primer is Money Saving Mom. Go visit her and you will be inspired.

If you don't get the Sunday paper where most of the coupons come from, you can print your own coupons.  There are several websites where you can choose the coupons you like, print them and use them the same as the ones from the paper.  Try coupons.com (in the sidebar) each week for new ones.  

Always look at Retail Me Not for online coupon codes before you make an online purchase. Thanks Renee for that link!

Let me know if you have some tips for me.  I am new to this and would love to learn some new tricks too.  Saving money on groceries leaves more money for my perfume and lipstick account! 

Back to Basics: Cleaning Out Closets

I haven't written in a long while about cleaning out closets and want to go back to some basics. Often I forget how it was in the beginning, when I first started to declutter my life.  It is a long and emotional process, but once you master each step you will find yourself wanting even more of a challenge. 

So what is the first step?  It can be one of two things and that depends on you.  One, is to stop accumulating, which is better known as SHOPPING. Yes, stop shopping.  Stop going to stores. Stop shopping online.  Stop impluse buying at the grocery store and drugstore.  Stop going to sales to get a good deal.  This step is very difficult for some people, I know, and you may have to do it in small steps.  One time I went to Target and strolled through the store filling up my cart with things I could have used, or were perhaps a good deal.  When I got to the front of the store, I decided to just leave it because I really couldn't afford to spend $50 on all those good deals. I didn't really need any of it right then.  (Yes, I did feel bad about not putting it back-Shame on me!)  If this is your first step, you know who you are.  Cleaning out your home isn't going to do any good if you keep filling it back up.

The other first step for you could be going directly to cleaning out.  I like to set a timer for 10 minutes and stay in one area.  During the 10 minutes I will focus only on a drawer or a closet and do what I can.  Since this process is emotionally draining, it's best to keep it in a small amount of time and a small amount of space.  The rule is that you have to leave the area cleaner than you found it.  Don't drag a bunch of stuff out, then when the bell rings, leave a mess.  You have to deal with what you have time to deal with.  Leave the rest for the next time.  I know some people get started and they can't stop.  That's great if it works for you, but if you find yourself overwhelmed with it, try starting small.

For me, being organized isn't about having all those little cute containers to put your stuff in, but about being able to find things when you need them.  How much time is wasted looking for things?  How much money is wasted buying things you already have but can't find?  Don't go out and buy storage bins as your attempt to get organized.  This won't help you if you don't clear out the clutter first.  As you are sorting through your things in your 10 minute increments, put them where intuitively you will look for them.  For example, all batteries in the same place, tools in a toolbox, dvds together, bills easily accessed and books where you can find them.  I call this each item "having a place to live".

While you are doing these first steps, notice what you are drawn to and ask yourself "Why?". Shopping for a fantasy life is quite common.  Maybe you used to go out dancing a lot and were always buying cute tops for it, but now you don't.  Not only do you not need to buy them anymore but maybe you don't need so many hanging in your closet.  I won't get into all the specific ways to decide whether to keep it or toss it.  I think this first step is enough to get anyone started, or even restarted.  I also have to do this from time to time.  Clutter just accumulates, that is it's nature!  We all have to battle it. 

Look back through the archives for lots of in depth tips for clearing clutter. Remember that song by En Vogue from the 90's-Free Your Mind?  That's what you will feel like singing after you've done it!  You won't want to bring anything mediocre into your home again.

Picture is from www.traditionalhome.com

Ann Taylor Friends & Family

Double up on markdowns and friends and family event with an extra 30% off!  You can use this discount at Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor Loft in store or online.  Enter promo code 10701101.  Just in case, I'd print out the coupon and take with you.   Nothing infuriates me more than a cashier who doesn't know what I'm talking about, so be prepared.  

I just bought a shirt at Banana Republic and had a $10 reward card and a $15 off card.  The cashier swore up and down that I couldn't use both.  I refused that answer and went and asked a woman with whom I had already inquired about it.  She rescued me and the cashier said "You learn something new every day."  Yep.  

Both Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor Loft have great quality basic clothes.  If you have an interview coming up, why not invest in a new suit?  It seems when you need one they are never on sale.  There are a lot of markdowns right now too. In the heat of summer they are preparing for Fall merchandise so if you need summer clothes now is the time to get them.